Every day I'm shuffling

This past weekend I did absolutely nothing in the work room.

Well, not nothing: I paid the trash guys to pick up the remnants of demolition. It cost $200 bucks so the total for the room is now $286.79.

The wife and I were thinking of turning the room into a big bathroom which would be nice but not really necessary for the house. Then a friend of mine suggested closing up the existing doorway, putting a new doorway into the adjoining bedroom, and turning the room into a master bathroom. We gave this serious consideration.

As previously documented, the floor in this room is slightly curved. The reason for this is illustrated in the beautiful cross-section of my house shown above: the room extends past the room below it and over time the edge of the room has fallen. This means that if we put a bathtub in this room, it would have to be positioned along the inner wall to avoid placing too much strain on the front of the room.

So this past weekend we did a lot of looking at the room, getting rough estimates on plumbing fixtures and tiles, and thinking about what would improve the value of the house. And drinking, we did lots of drinking as well. Drinking is an important part of home renovation.

Thinking of a master plan

I drew up a floorplan (to scale, of course) for the work room. I e-mailed it to wifey and told her that we should think about what to do with the room. I asked her to come up with some ideas.

I would be happy to insulate the room, hang some drywall, refinish the floor, and put it back just like it was. But since we really have no use for the room I also thought about making it a huge walk-in closet or turning it into a big bathroom with one of those huge Scarface tubs that I could smoke cigars in.

I printed ten copies of the layout and brought it home. Over dinner I used a marker to draw up five ideas I came up with: two for luxury bathrooms and three for a walk-in closet with lots of hanging space, a dresser, and shelves.

I asked the wife for her ideas and she drew hearts on a blank copy of the layout.

Rolling in the deep

Over the weekend when I went to tear out the knob and tube wiring and the one random bx power line that I found buried behind the walls, I tested them with a light bulb socket just to make sure that they were dead before I cut them. But they were all live. This was not good. This meant that at some point in the history of this house, someone left live wires sealed behind the plaster and lath walls. And to make matters worse, they sprayed insulation into the wall and ceiling cavities, surrounding the live wires with insulation. In a knob and tube system, the knobs and tubes keep the power wires away from the wooden beams that make up the house because power lines get hot. But when you spray insulation around the wires, it defeats the point of the knobs and tubes and creates a fire hazard. I had no choice but to trace the circuit and turn it off. The good news is that one circuit in the basement cut power to all of the knob and tube wiring buried in this room so I could cut the wires out. The bad news is that the living room ceiling fan lost power. That was unexpected since the living room is not even close to the work room- it’s on another floor and two rooms over. So I spent the past three nights tracing the power line in the basement and disconnecting it from the circuit box, then running a new power line to the ceiling fan in the living room and installing a new circuit for the ceiling fan. In the process, I discovered that the outlets in the living room were hooked up to the circuit for the furnace, so I disconnected those wires (giving the furnace its own circuit) and connected them to the circuit I just installed (giving the living room its own circuit). Now it’s Wednesday and I’m mentally exhausted for the week even though I spent the last three nights in the basement and haven’t set foot in the work room since Saturday. But on the bright side, I installed a light over my ironing board in the basement so that makes my life a little easier.

There ain't no reason you and me should be alone tonight

Today the wife clocked in on the job site for the first time. We spent the morning pulling the lath from the corners of the room, pulling out the dead wires, and pulling the nails from all of the studs in the room. We also swept up and vacuumed.

I had to buy one more box of contractor bags and a few vacuum bags for 40 bucks. Total cost of the project is now up to $86.79.

Every time wifey and I embark on a project together, whether it's dicing vegetables or painting a room, there comes a time when I realize that wifey is progressing about as quickly as a drunken turtle. Today my investigation revealed that wifey was not pulling nails and letting them fall on the floor like a normal person. She was collecting them in a small basket. I don't even know where she got the damned basket. Who brings a little basket to a job site?

Every now and then I fall apart

When you gut an entire room in your house, it's important to focus on completing the project as soon as possible because it seriously affects the value of your house. It's important to avoid distractions.

For example, it's probably not the best time to spend a night drinking a lot of beer and repairing old GI Joe guys.

Talking to myself because I am my own consultant

Wifey was out of town this weekend so I spent the entire weekend talking to my dog. I also finished demolishing the entire room.

Demolition is easy: insert crowbar, pull down wall. It's clearing all of the debris out that's hard.

I think what I like most about demolition is that I get to use a crowbar. It's such a mean-looking tool that I rarely get to use. Whenever someone uses a crowbar on television, it's for opening coffins, breaking in to someone's house, or beating someone. Even though I bought a special thin crowbar for gently pulling off crown mouldings that I sand and refinish, I still feel a little badass when I use it.

Ya best protect ya neck

Today I finished pulling down the ceiling and I bagged some of it up.

Dust is your main enemy when you're pulling down plaster and lath. The first time I did it, I wore a dust mask. The second time I added goggles. Now I just cover as much of my body as possible. Spend the ten bucks for disposable coveralls with a hood. It keeps the dust out of your clothes and off your body. And of course, it scares the living hell out of your neighbors if they see you through the windows so make sure you're highly visible.

It’s especially fun to take the trash out to the curb dressed like this.

No need to worry, my accountant handles that

Today I made the first trip to Home Depot for this project. I bought a box of dust masks, a box of contractor bags, and some disposable coveralls with a hood. Total: $46.79. And the money flow begins.

Now let's get it all in perspective

I started demolition today. I wanted to get an idea of what's behind those walls before I plan my weekend. When you tear down walls in a house that's over a hundred years old, you never know what's going to be back there. You could find hidden treasure, alien remains, or just really bad construction.

The bad news is that at some point in the history of this house someone blew insulation into the ceiling. This is going to make demolition a lot messier and much more of a pain in the ass.

The good news is that at some point someone (probably the same person) put new wiring into the ceiling. In the top photo you can see the old knob and tube wiring in the ceiling. That's what I was afraid I would be tearing out. Hopefully there isn't any current in there. I'll make my dog lick it tomorrow and see if she dies.

I feel the earth move under my feet

Last night I took a good look at the floor in the room and realized that it's quite crooked. I took a photo using a level and Yoda to show scale. There appears to be a hill in the middle of my room.

When you consider buying an old house, keep in mind that "charm" means "try to figure out how to put new mouldings in this room with the crooked floor."
Today I laid down some 1/8" MDF as a temporary floor. This will protect my "charming" floor during the destruction of the walls and ceiling.

I also pulled the rest of the mouldings from around the window, around the door, and around the closet door. I pulled them off carefully because I plan to save them, refinish them, and reinstall them. I'll get to that later. I'm alreday excited to post photos of me sanding mouldings by hand.

Lord, I was born a rambling man

Today I got a few things done. I removed the face plates from the outlets and removed the light fixture. I pulled off the baseboard mouldings with a hammer and chisel.

Now I actually passed the point where I could have turned back. Now I am committed. I actually have to do this thing.

To finish the day, I contemplated getting into my Jeep and driving and driving and never coming back.

Call the crib -- same number, same hood

These are photos of a small, unused bedroom in my house. This is the room that I will tear out and rebuild.

Time estimate: 6 months.
Cost estimate: $1,000.

I am sure that these estimates will be way off. Know where I learned that? Every fucking person I've ever hired in my life.

I have lots of rooms to rebuild. My house is about 120 years old and it's not insulated. If you've ever lived in an uninsulated house in the northeast, you either (1) went bankrupt paying heating bills, (2) bought lots of sweaters, or (3) killed your wife tauntaun style. I went with (2) last winter but definitely contemplated (3).

The walls and ceilings are made of plaster and lath and there are cracks showing in the plaster, so they must be replaced with drywall. I also want to replace the old wiring if there is any.

And there are bigger concerns. Have you heard of suburban ennui? It's good to smash things once in a while.

Relax and take notes

Hello and welcome. My name is Pepper. I've decided to create this blog to chronicle my recent home improvement project: the complete deconstruction and reconstruction of a room in my house.

Progress will be minimal. Updates will be infrequent.

A wise man once told me, "Underpromise and underdeliver."